Things Being Raised in the Military Did Not Teach Me

I lived on Air Force bases between the formative ages of two and thirteen. I attended school on base and all my friends were military dependants. Almost all our shopping and entertainment was had on base as well. The time frame was between the late 50s and 1970. This means I was a milarty depentant at the height of the cold war, thus there was a tangible separation from civilian society. Add in the fact that everyone was more isolated than we are today; there was no internet, no cell phones and if you were lucky you had four TV channels. All of this means I was raised in the insulter hot house of the military. As such there were a number of things I did not learn about life growing up, such as:

1. That Real Life Is Not a Meritocracy: The military more than any other institution in the U.S. is a meritocracy. It is not a perfect meritocracy, but is the closest there is. Thus, I grew up believing that if you worked hard and did your job well you will always be rewarded with recognition and advancement.

2. That Real Life Is Messy: On a military base everyone in your life, parents, friends, neighbors, teachers etc. are generally focused on the same goals and work for the same employer. This means there is a built in common ground for community. Life is regimented with clearly expressed expectations. Military dependents learn from an early age that there numerous rules that constituent acceptable behaviors and failing to meet these regulations has tangible consequences. Everyone has a certain dress code, lawns and homes are kept neat, cars are washed, one shows respect to everyone, and more deference to higher ranked personal.

3. That Honor and Duty Are Not Universally Held Values: Dismiss it as trite if you want, but in the military there is a true belief in Honor and Duty. Personal integrity and the drive to accomplish the tasks assigned, even to the risk of one’s life, are generally accepted values. While individuals in civilian life abide by honor and duty, they are not inculcated into society and you cannot expect members of it to act on them.

4. That There Is Not One Correct Way to Do Everything: You have heard the slogan “There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Army way." This is a very true statement. There may be three ways to do something and obtain the same good result, but in the military if there is a set procedure for doing something then it is not enough to obtain the correct result. You have to do so using the approved method.

5. That Overt Racism Exists: In the 50’s and the 60’s the military was the most integrated entity in the U.S. While there was certainly racism, the overt expression of it was strictly forbidden. I grew up in a society that had integrated schools and institutions. I had friends that were many different races and creeds and thought nothing of it. In fact I can remember only one time my mother ever said anything about my friends and that was to watch out for the Mormon family as they would try to convert me.

6. There Is No Free Medical Care: I grew up in a socialized medical system that seem to work. There are problems with the system now, especially when it comes to Vets. But at the time I was a military dependent the free medical care I received was comparable to that available in the civilian world. And in some respect it was better. I have had very few cavities due in part to receiving some of the first fluoride treatments given to children.

7. People Do Not Move Every Few Years: During the time I was a military dependent most families were on a two or three year rotation from base to base. The longest I lived in one place before my dad retired was in England, for three years. When you factor in the fact that other families were on different rotations I would make friends who would be rotating out six months after we rotated in. This meant that it was important to make friends quickly, yet you did not have time to develop the “best friend” relationship that develops in the civilian world where kids know each other starting in kindergarten or even younger and grow up together.

8. That Not Everyone is a New Kid: One of the hardest adjustments I had to make when my dad retired was that I was a new kid and that most of the other kids were not. As mentioned above families were different rotations so when school started almost all of us were new kids and a lot of kids joined the class during the school year.

9. That Most People Have Home Towns: The old saying goes; you can never go home again. For military dependents this a not a proverb, but an actual fact. I can never go back to the home town, since I never had one. Some of the bases I lived on have been closed. Even if they are not, they are secure facilities and not readily accessible Even if they were accessible there would be no one living there that was there when I was a child. All the personal would have been transferred or retired.